Thinking.

Do you ever look outside your bedroom window and think about how the view that you're seeing, beautiful or not, isn't even a one-hundreth of this world? It amazes me how little I feel when I really think about it. We could make absolutely no difference in this world, or we could start a revolution and change it. There are so many people on this planet, way too many to be doing nothing about everything. Would we notice the peace if there were no torture and corruption? We would take advantage of it after a while and just be used to it. Peace is such a big deal to me. I don't understand guns, I don't understand fights, I don't understand violence. We are not here to create chaos between one another. Honestly, if someone were to walk up to me, if they had a reason or if they didn't, and hit me I would walk away. Maybe they would follow me, maybe not. But I could never hurt someone unless they were literally trying to kill me or hurt me sexually. If I can survive and be okay then I don't want to do anything. Violence is nonsense. I literally do not understand it. What do you feel like you accomplished after bashing someones face in and breaking their nose? Powerful? Then what?

One day I was down in the woods sitting by a waterfall in my favorite park and I started walking back up, feeling all the layers of the rocks and sticks and leaves and dirt under my feet and I thought about how many feet walked this same path that I am walking now. Everywhere we go is not untouched. Something at some point has visited that rock, that lake, that waterfall, that field. But you, as a person, are so small. There is no way you could be everywhere in your life time. And something I don't understand is how someone can just be so comfortable with looking out the same window year after year at the same backyard with the same tree. I want to see the world, or at least a lot of it. And I want to feel the air around my body and breathe it in and taste its freshness. I want to walk through grass and feel the water after it rains between my toes and the mud on my feet. I want to climb staircases and mountains. I'm in this little town that has just became a city by population a few years ago. I've lived here all my life. I see pictures of huge buildings, of the Great Wall of China, of Machu Pichu, of everything, and it just makes me want to be there.

I want to be somebody. I know most people want to be somebody, but I don't mean it in a way like they do. I don't care to be known by everyone and loved by everyone. I want to help people. I want to change people's lives in anyway that I can. I feel like I was put on this earth to give people hope in their own lives. I don't feel like I am here just to satisfy my family and myself. I don't feel like I was put here to invent something that will save the world though either. I am here to create beauty. I want people to see my art or read the things I wrote or listen to the words I say and feel changed in some way or another. I want to make people feel like there's hope and like there is a reason they are here as well, and a reason all of the good and bad has happened in their lives. I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't worth it.

60 questions to ponder.

1. What is that thing that no one, not even your partner, your mother or your best friend, knows about you?
2. What would make you feel embarrassed in public?
3. What do you think is your biggest flaw? What have you done about it?
4. What is your biggest strength? How did you develop it?
5. What do you have to put up with in your life? How long have you been tolerating it?
6. If you could change your name, what would your new name be?
7. If you could change your appearance, how would you decide to look?
8. What color dominates your wardrobe? How do you feel when you wear that color? Why?
9. Which song do you sing only when you’re alone? What memory does it bring back?
10. Whom do you secretly envy? Why?
11. What do you really want? But really…
12. What is the way you often sabotage yourself?
13. Who would you like to please the most?
14. What do you think a stranger’s first impression of you would be?
15. What recurring dream do you have? What do you think is the message your subconscious is sending you through that dream?
16. What would you try now if you were sure you wouldn’t fail?
17. What was that thing you never tried because you were afraid of failure?
18. What was your greatest disappointment in life?
19. As a kid, what did you dream of becoming when you grew up?
20. What are you really good at?
21. What can you do better?
22. What worries you the most when you think about your future?
23. What really sucks in your life? Who has the power to change it?
24. What is your life really about? What is your purpose in life?
25. What fear could wake you in the middle of the night?
26. What joy could wake you in the middle of the night?
27. What are you grateful for?
28. What time of the day do you feel the most energetic? And what do you usually do in those moments?
29. If you knew you had only one week to live, how and with whom would you spend it?
30. Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?
31. If you could be a fictional character from a movie or a novel, who would you want to be? Why?
32. What are you really bad at?
33. Who would you like to forgive and forget?
34. Do you often hear your inner voice? What does it usually tell you?
35. When was the last time you cried without anyone seeing you? And why?
36. What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?
37. What’s your most striking physical attribute? Do you like it?
38. If you had the opportunity to go back in time and make a change, would you still want to have the same parents?
39. If you could go back in time and change things, how would you alter the last ten years?
40. If you could get rid of one of your responsibilities today, what would that be?
41. What is the biggest lie you tell yourself?
42. What do you think is missing in your life?
43. What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?
44. What type of person angers you the most?
45. Who never fails to make you feel good about yourself?
46. If you could start all over again, what would you want to study?
47. Which type of intelligence do you wish you had: kinetic, visual, interpersonal, linguistic or mathematical?
48. What is your biggest pet peeve?
49. What was the one opportunity you always believed you’ve missed out on?
50. What do you like about yourself the most?
51. What do you regret the most?
52. What is the most hurtful thing you’ve ever witnessed? Why did it affect you?
53. What would you like most to be acknowledged for in your life?
54. What is the first thought that usually crosses your mind the second you open your eyes in the morning?
55. What is that thing about yourself you’re sick and tired of?
56. Who really depends on you? Why?
57. What was the main factor that played a role in your biggest mistake?
58. What was the main factor that played a role in your biggest success?
59. What childhood memory sizzles your heart?
60. What was the most frustrating period in your creative life?
61. Do you love yourself?
62. If you were your own coach, how would you guide yourself?

These are questions that really make me think. Are we all who want want to be? Why do some of us hate who we are? I feel that everyone has the power within themselves to be a better person, if that is what they truly desire. Some things you can change, and if you believe you can then do so. Change things for the better, for the world, for your loved ones, for yourself. Stop being an alcoholic. Stop lying. Stop cheating. Stop doing drugs. Be better. You have the power to change.

What makes you feel like you aren't good enough? Everyone has their faults, but I really do believe that's what makes us beautiful. No one is perfect, no one is the same, and no one should try to be. We were born of the combination of our parents, good and bad things, take what you can handle and push away what you cannot. Be strong. Be loving. Be full. Be happy. Be free. 

LOVE YOURSELF.